Intense weeks ahead!

This fri : BGS presentation

Next Fri: Business Law presentation

Next Next Thurs: Business Law Written Report Submission

13thnov: Research Paper Submission

Thanks to bi for helping my group and i so much. I realize that you know so much... and is PERHAPS even smarter than I am. The possibility is there.. but we cannot be certain about it yet. Maybe its time for me to take back my words on how stupid you are and that I am more intelligent than you in many ways. I should stop calling you moronic or dumbass.

Aunt just came back from Japan. She even got Samantha Thavasa wallets for my sisters and i. Although she misunderstood my taste and got me this shocking pink design, Im still gonna ditch Kenny's gift for hers for the time being... Sorry bibs.

Been begging my dad to sponsor me a new laptop and he finally agreed! although my laptop is less than a year old.. it's so laggy and annoying. I cant configure it to the school network and it sucks!!!! So here i come...a mac maybe?

Thinking of moving out of Xanga.. My posts are getting so childish. Maybe moving into a new space can help get rid of this.

I miss the days when I had the courage to pig out at Spore Island with the AC peeps just days before exams. It's recess week but I am barely breathing. Smiling without a hint of true happiness, sleeping without real calm and rest.... 0 things accomplished and school's in on monday once more! Im never a motivated person. Never. I never go according to plans, I never planned. My life has all along been led the way it ought to become, and i make choices only when the time comes.

I was telling my dad how much I hate school. I asked him if it's ok if I am just average since i have no dreams of graduating with cum laude. He started lecturing me on how I shouldnt be bearing small dreams because I will never try to do better than what I set out for. He told me to aim high, such that even when I cant reach those goals, I am still far from being 'average'. Oh well..

Fell sick during the recess week. So many things undone. Been having this persistent cough for god-knows how long! But was thankful when my dad came into my room in the middle of the night to hand me a cup of warm water when the coughing fits disturbed my sleep.

I miss you guys and I apologize for not being to commit to the voluntary work anymore. Ive volunteered for a whole 7 months and calling it quits isnt easy when it was part of my daily routine.. I wonder if you guys can still remember me? I think about you guys now and then.. When I get out of this shithole of an education system, I promise to do more to help people like you, people who need my help out there. I promise.

Life's been okay...

Apart from the fact that I am going to flunk biz law mid terms ( didnt have a clue what promissory estoppel was, which is the rule to apply for the case in a qn), and business,gov,society mid terms tmr ( srsly?!?! on a saturday morning?!??! ) and im so not prepared!!

On a lighter note, I feel so happy at home even during this rough week. My mom's feeling under the weather ( fever and all ) but it made me realize how important she is in our household. She is EVERYTHING to my father,Sal, Noel and myself!! Without her, there is no longer  a chauffeur for my sisters ( NOTE: I have to take public transport now because I cant possibly expect her to ferry me to school when it's so freaking convenient), a brilliant cook for the entire family ( Getting ulcers and constipation from the lack of home cooked meals. I hate eating out because it's soooo unhealthy! ), a life sized soft toy for ME as I always need to hug and kiss her at least 3 times a day! yada yada..

Aunty Jasmine's back from her shopping trip in Europe and she got me a Moschino wallet from the Cheap & Chic range! Had to pretend to like it even though the design and colour doesnt reflect my character. =/ Stupid kenny was looking forward to see my reaction after knowing what she got for me?

On a side note, been getting annoyed at Kenny for developing an obsession with Poker. I shall research on ways to help divert his attention from the game!

I don’t like to feel this minute.. this insignificant. I don’t like the feeling of staying awake because I am guilty of falling asleep with so much left undone ; Yet staying awake yields nothing productive.

So many thoughts running through my mind now, and I desperately want to sort them out and put them in the correct places. I wish i can have some sign to show me the way as to how I should lead my life, or even go off from where I am. I am lost and confused. My engine refuses to start and I am so very tired.

It’s barely 2 months and this is freaking me out.

I want to feel safe again. I dont like to be hounded by deadlines, to be chasing after the paper dream , to be walking down this faithless road – all for naught.

Am I not good enough to love? I am trying so hard to keep up with you, staying up late into the night for your calls, just to hear your voice. To be honest, it doesnt make things any better knowing that you have to return to Indo for a short trip. At a hectic week of mine when I most likely need you the most? Seriously?

I am so sick of things not going my way.

I want to curl up in bed for a whole day just to finish a book.

I took in a hamster as my asthmatic friend is unable to look after it during the A level period. Having to see my mom take care of it most of the time and whining about how much pain the hamster has to go through, I can’t help but respect her insistence on a no-pet allowed home. She doesn’t like to watch animals suffer, age and die.  Yet she is kind enough to help me look after it because I am afraid of watching it suffer as well.

Anyway on a lighter note, I got a new phone. To replace a crappy Sony Ericsson one I purchased earlier this year. I was really disappointed about not being able to get an Iphone in time. My dad was really doing his best to help me get one and I really appreciate his intention. He wanted to cheer up me because I have been so moody recently. Okay who feels good about getting 1/10 for a Stats quiz. Anyway the prof will take the best 3 scores out of 5 so hopefully i can do better than that for the following quizzes which will be HARDER. Damn. Anyway I hate the fact that my Dad’s vouchers are expiring.. Otherwise I would have waited for the release of the next iphone batch in 1-2 mth’s time.

My dad has high expectations of me. He wants me to be a businesswoman in future. And I laughed when I heard that.

I love my family!

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that K and this guy from my business law class (lets call him C ) are actually friends.  Thing is C makes the most brilliant comments in class ( I think he shares intelligent conversations with his gf who happens to be in smu law).

Sick and tired of using my dad’s thumb drive modem. I can’t wait for the wireless to be activated on thurs.