Is there something about bahasa indonesia and me? Doesnt help when K is practising his bahasa on anybody he can find even the taxi driver.

It's so disturbing that I am unchanged. Ive always lacked the drive to study for good. I kind of respect myself for just picking up the book and reading it for the first time the day before my BGS examination. Come to think of it i might have been better during my jc days ( which was bad since i only started studying after prelims, upon failing maths and econs every single time ). At least I studied days before the exams.Well.... I am happy to scrape through. I am not targetting a coveted job or get involved in a lucrative field. so-not-me.

And today.. hung out with flo @ orchard when my exams have yet to end. And I played L4d2 already!

Why do guys like poker so much? Or maybe it's just K.

Finally found the mood to update this dusty space.

Business law examination on monday was bad! But it's over, all I hope is to maintain the GPA of more than 2.5 so that I wont get kicked out of school! Cant wait for graduation though I will feel bad about my post graduation plans!

Dad's getting worried about me not being to pass through university as he could sense my inability to adjust to the hectic study regime imposed on an unwilling learner like me. Yeah it kinda sucks not being hardworking your whole life so now I am really stretched to the limit. Icannotbreathe.

And not to mention profs that you bid for with huge amount of e$s and they end up not meeting your expectations?

One thing to look forward to is december. DecemberDecemberDecember. Daddy promised me a trip after seeing me so unhappy and miserable from all the "studying". Im so good at pretending! ^.^

and guess what is K's way of loving?

By sponsoring my shopping trips and cab fares to school when taking public transport becomes too unbearable. Not forgetting the amount of snacks and food he bought to make me happy.

Really cannot imagine life after sept, when he is going to be at indonesia 3/4 of a mth ( yeah only back in SG for a week or so)-for life. So guess, dont be surprised to realize that I broke up with him after discovering the fact that he has another family with a indon woman over there. HAHA! That's his future, his destiny. Ive been told by my mom not to spoil it for him by demanding that he stays and all. Friends think that it's fantastic since it seems clear for now that I am the 5-star-resort-owner's soon to be wife. But it's painful being the woman behind a wealthy man alright. I dont wanna go through that at all. I am not strong or calm enough to deal with the problems that comes with being rich.

Times like this, I become so tired and more demanding..

And the vicious cycle continues.....

Intense weeks ahead!

This fri : BGS presentation

Next Fri: Business Law presentation

Next Next Thurs: Business Law Written Report Submission

13thnov: Research Paper Submission

Thanks to bi for helping my group and i so much. I realize that you know so much... and is PERHAPS even smarter than I am. The possibility is there.. but we cannot be certain about it yet. Maybe its time for me to take back my words on how stupid you are and that I am more intelligent than you in many ways. I should stop calling you moronic or dumbass.

Aunt just came back from Japan. She even got Samantha Thavasa wallets for my sisters and i. Although she misunderstood my taste and got me this shocking pink design, Im still gonna ditch Kenny's gift for hers for the time being... Sorry bibs.

Been begging my dad to sponsor me a new laptop and he finally agreed! although my laptop is less than a year old.. it's so laggy and annoying. I cant configure it to the school network and it sucks!!!! So here i come...a mac maybe?

Thinking of moving out of Xanga.. My posts are getting so childish. Maybe moving into a new space can help get rid of this.

I miss the days when I had the courage to pig out at Spore Island with the AC peeps just days before exams. It's recess week but I am barely breathing. Smiling without a hint of true happiness, sleeping without real calm and rest.... 0 things accomplished and school's in on monday once more! Im never a motivated person. Never. I never go according to plans, I never planned. My life has all along been led the way it ought to become, and i make choices only when the time comes.

I was telling my dad how much I hate school. I asked him if it's ok if I am just average since i have no dreams of graduating with cum laude. He started lecturing me on how I shouldnt be bearing small dreams because I will never try to do better than what I set out for. He told me to aim high, such that even when I cant reach those goals, I am still far from being 'average'. Oh well..

Fell sick during the recess week. So many things undone. Been having this persistent cough for god-knows how long! But was thankful when my dad came into my room in the middle of the night to hand me a cup of warm water when the coughing fits disturbed my sleep.

I miss you guys and I apologize for not being to commit to the voluntary work anymore. Ive volunteered for a whole 7 months and calling it quits isnt easy when it was part of my daily routine.. I wonder if you guys can still remember me? I think about you guys now and then.. When I get out of this shithole of an education system, I promise to do more to help people like you, people who need my help out there. I promise.

Life's been okay...

Apart from the fact that I am going to flunk biz law mid terms ( didnt have a clue what promissory estoppel was, which is the rule to apply for the case in a qn), and business,gov,society mid terms tmr ( srsly?!?! on a saturday morning?!??! ) and im so not prepared!!

On a lighter note, I feel so happy at home even during this rough week. My mom's feeling under the weather ( fever and all ) but it made me realize how important she is in our household. She is EVERYTHING to my father,Sal, Noel and myself!! Without her, there is no longer  a chauffeur for my sisters ( NOTE: I have to take public transport now because I cant possibly expect her to ferry me to school when it's so freaking convenient), a brilliant cook for the entire family ( Getting ulcers and constipation from the lack of home cooked meals. I hate eating out because it's soooo unhealthy! ), a life sized soft toy for ME as I always need to hug and kiss her at least 3 times a day! yada yada..

Aunty Jasmine's back from her shopping trip in Europe and she got me a Moschino wallet from the Cheap & Chic range! Had to pretend to like it even though the design and colour doesnt reflect my character. =/ Stupid kenny was looking forward to see my reaction after knowing what she got for me?

On a side note, been getting annoyed at Kenny for developing an obsession with Poker. I shall research on ways to help divert his attention from the game!